The feeling of inadequacy, of not being good enough, not being worthy is such a domineering factor in the human experience. It’s there in all of us by design, as a side effect of the intellect. It’s very apparent in some people and it goes unnoticed by the vast majority.
I feel lucky to belong to the people that have awareness of their own sense of built in unworthiness, because this gives me the chance to look at my behaviour and see which of my actions may be driven by this imperious and yet elusory feeling.
I’m glad to see I’ve made progress. Although, a more truthful way of putting this would be: I was dumbfounded to read a post I wrote some 6 years ago on quitting smoking and habit tweaking.
What shocked me was the extent, to which the idea of bettering myself possessed me. Looking at the sheet I put together to track progress, it was nothing short of an obsession.Continue reading